traffic lights.

For a fraction of that moment, i thought it was you.
The traffic lights felt the same.
The force pulling me away from the road felt the same.
It felt the same.
Except it wasn't you.
It just wasn't you.

I was on the sidewalk,
in my bikini, inhaling exhaling my usual puffs.
I felt like crying, screaming so all the latterns in the sky
would fall.
And they would bruise and burn
like I was, at that very moment.

Why wouldn't thoughts of you go away.
Why do I still think of you every once in a while.
Why do I still believe I'm not good enough.
Why do I still let thoughts of you make me think this way.

Why do I still let myeslf be haunted by these thoughts like this.