i had the longest and most complete dream of us back together.
but i woke up and forgot everything.

i never said to love you forever, but i did say to tell you if i stopped. one day i will. i will find you and tell you i am no longer in love with you.

it's funny how i'm doing the exact same thing i did 5 years ago reading our old conversations except now i'm the one full of regret.

You'll always be my one great love.

this is turning into a pathetic dream diary. but what the fuck. there is not a single day that i don't think of you. i saw someone new. your someone new. but  then you forgave me. people who are meant to be together will always find eventually find each other in the end.

i keep dreaming of you. it gets worse everyday. 

'Young love eventually dies because, like a prairie fire, it devours everything in its path until there’s nothing left. And then there’s no more of this “I can’t get enough of you” feeling, because as it turns out, you can. You get enough of everyone and everything after your heart’s been incinerated because it makes you realize you alone are exactly enough. This is liberating but it also kind of sucks.

No one tells you that you’ll get tired of love. No one tells you that no matter how happy you are in your relationship, occasionally you’ll wish you had only yourself to take care of again.

Or that every now and then you’ll find yourself incredibly attracted to someone else, the way their hair falls or the way they form their sentences, and no matter how much you love your partner you’ll suddenly want them so bad you start to feel nauseous. Of course you won’t do anything about it but you’ll know you had the thought and you’ll hate yourself for it just the tiniest bit.'

i got lost on the way. i'm so lost. i wish there was a way for you to take me home.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
 Whenever I'm alone with you
 You make me feel like I am young again

i can't imagine a day when the invisible thread is cut and we're completely disconnected forever.
but who are you now.

dreams part four

1802, 29t1

part five
i even wrote this in my dream it was long and restless and i couldn't remember most of it except
the last line vaguely said you turned your head around with such disdain, no words or anything while i was standing next to my second floor window watching the sunset before the house was rebuilt and we met for the first time.

how many drunken nights
heartstopping songs
stumbling between strangers eyes and arms
intoxicated

to realize i've lost everything that means anything to me?