00:54 - khóc trên giường lần nth.

Dịu dàng như một cô bé yêu thương một cậu bé, thế thôi. 

please let me

be secretly in love with you
for the rest of my life.

I dreamt you carried me home last night. 

please let nothing change and let me do it secretly for the rest of my life.

i've never written such nervous, selfish words in my life.

i am so confused since when did i despise the idea and notion of romance so much i hate seeing it hearing about it having it in anyway related to me
i don't fucking want someone to tell me about the absence of my lips or whispers sweet nothings into my ear please just stop i want someone to hold my feet up because that's how i relax and wash my hair when i'm sleepy.

bây giờ tao vấy bẩn rồi, làm sao dám chạm vào người việt hà nữa.

And yet you make fun of the idea of me falling for you again like some kind of joke.
which it must be for you, and a punishment for me.






edit:
it must be hilarious, that my heart beats so hard it's hardly contained in my chest anymore.


edit 2:
come to think of it i don't even know why you used to love me in the first place i wouldn't if i were you.


bây giờ làm gì còn đường để mà tìm về nữa.

Everytime I see you, you happen to me all over again. 

v: so. did you feel anything?
t: him? i don't think i'll ever not feel anything.

this is my secret place now.

“I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it’s just too much. The current’s too strong. They’ve got to let go, drift apart. That’s how it is with us. It’s a shame, Kath, because we’ve loved each other all our lives.”

- Kazuo Ishiguro : Never Let Me Go