“I’m in love with you because you make me feel safe. It sounds corny and vague. People always talk about feeling safe with someone and you wonder what it even means. I still don’t really know. All I know is that when I’m with you, I feel like I’m clutching a giant thing of pepper spray or reliving a moment of being carried to bed by my parents when I was five years old and fell asleep in front of the television. All day long, I can feel fragile, like a raw nerve, and when I come home to you, it’s like I just put on the thickest winter coat and installed bulletproof windows in my apartment. ‘Honey, I’m home…and no longer terrified.’

— Ryan O’Connell, This is Why I’m in Love With You

so very long ago

dreamth*

i semi woke up at night going ; these fingers aren't long and thin and tender enough they're not the beautiful creatures that once walked my skin

and then i tried to show you the box where i kept all your memories but i had was a smaller version of it and it was missing and i wanted to scream.

you said at some point you'd send me a postcard so i could get a sample of your handwriting

that never happened.