:( :( :(

i don't know anything at all. i hate it when this happen.

i'm in an airtight glass box. i don't know if the rush inside is real, or is it good for me.

i keep making myself feel so fucking low.

i've never been this low before. i don't chase around any fucking one.
i am too proud. i need to remain proud.
i don't even want it to become a fucking crush, the tiniest one.

nonononononono.

does the fucktard get occasional headrush and short of breath moments like me tooooooo?
shit. i'm so fucked.
this needs to stop.

- how can you miss someone you barely even know.
listen to a song they used to sing and get your guts twisted inside out from missing them, their voice, their neck, their thigh.

the very same things that made me so happy makes me so shit.

i can't trust the feelings i can't explain.

:(

alot,
too much
vodka.

a singer,
a drunk,
a sexy
cop.

a youngster,
a drunk,
dressed all in black
girl -
reaching out.

they held hands.
they dance.
their necks sensually touch.
they vomit.

BLEURGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.


ps. i have came to realization,
for me, it doesn't starts with a kiss, it never starts with a kiss at all.
everything starts with holding hands.
once you are close enough to hold hands, you are close enough for anything.

he's always;

10 steps ahead of me

10 cliff tops ahead of me.

he's always reached it before me.

insanity or being content, he's always been there.

he's always been unreachable highness for me.

"Ta cảm ơn trần gian này lắm lắm
Nhờ nơi đây ta biết được đau thương
Ta cứ ngỡ trần gian là cõi thật
Thế cho nên tất bật đến bây giờ
Ta cứ ngỡ xuống trần chơi chốc lát
Nào hay đâu ở mãi tới hôm nay"

-bùi giáng

argh.argh.argh.

ew i think i need to starve myself.

that's all i gotta say today.

they gave the red cake i made away.

just pictures.