deep violet.

i go insane, sometimes.
really, really insane.

i dream really weird dreams
i don't even understand my unconciousness.

i try to change my hair, my makeup, the way i dress -
but im still the exact same vulnerable, and chaotic person i am.

deep violet.

Hóa đá đêm nay

Đặng Vương Hưng

Chưa sống trọn kiếp người

Đã khổ đau có thật

Em run rẩy cùng anh

Dâng hiến điều thiêng nhất

Hóa đá cái đêm nay

Hơi thở hờ lạnh tóc

Giây phút trao nhau rồi

Hạnh phúc em bật khóc.

-

thể xác thì không cần.nhưng cô đơn thì khó tránh.trốn chạy tình yêu mãi thôi.

dạo này đau đớn nhiều về thể xác, khô héo nhiều về tinh thần. ???

--------

Tim Minchin = my new jesus.

"And the weirdest thing is that this house

Has locks to keep the baddies out

But they’re mostly used to lock ourselves in"

.

"And the weirdest thing about a mind

Is that every answer that you find

Is the basis of a brand new cliché"

.

"This is my brain

And I live in it

It’s made of love

And bad song lyrics

It’s tucked away behind my eyes

Where all my screwed up thoughts can hide

Cos God forbid I hurt somebody"

---

Listening to "Lucky - Jason Mraz &Cobie Cailat"

"I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend "

.

and im so lonely i can't breathe.

i start to cry i can't breathe.

my knees can't bend and my throat is blocked.

things i found.

" You know I still love you. I'd go out with you if I'm there"
" even though we cant be lover but can you be someone special to me? please? "
" even though i can't love you you'll still be someone special to me"
" I only want you to be happy"
" I don't know what to do but you're really special to me."
" I don't know how to say it but, I will remember you forever."
" if there's a next life, I will go to kindergarden with you"
" shut up. you will get married and have kids and be an amazing cook."

your words are so cheap, just like you.
ever since being over it, the same old things still entertain me. things like that. famous last words.

fields of gold.

i've been having strange dreams.
maybe the insane roots have been growing in me again,

recently.

strange reunions, strange familiar faces.
strange dreams.

" she's the only reason that keeps me sane. " K.

thoughts of you makes me buried tears rip their own shells open, and burst.
weak fingers and weak elbows, knees too.

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Among the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold.

So she took her love for to gaze awhile
Among the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold.

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down

As you lie in fields of gold.

-sting

strawberry fields forever.

x: ta đang đi đâu vậy

y: ra khỏi thế giới này

mãi mãi những rừng dâu, cánh chim vàng và vô vàn những điều mãi mãi.

grains.

out of nowhere, just plain insecurity.
rushed to dive into the pallete of paint, and the blank insecure canvas.

i miss my camera.

.

.

secondly, i forgot to mention my recent sentimental moment/day.

apparently out of my blues i opened the year book and rushed to your picture. despite the will to leave you behind,
i unconciously placed my finger on that picture.
my fingertip by itself ran through your face, your hair,
as if you were really there. and i held it to my face,

all i had was smell of ink and paper.

ps. " In the event of my death; I hope to this day you knew that I cared." - lil - london

and i hope she makes you happy the way i couldn't ( never could ).

to repeat my most recent blog of you; i will always love you stil;.